Through a child’s eyes

They say it’s all about perspective. I think I wholeheartedly agree with them, whoever they are. 

Lately, I’ve found that my thoughts regarding perspective go down a rabbit hole the most extensively while I’m babysitting. Perhaps this sounds a little strange, so allow me to explain. 

The older we get, the more we recognize how precious time is and how quickly things can change. With that said, my stream of thoughts led me to compose a list of things I once found dreadful that I now consider delightful after hanging out with three little kids. Firsthand seeing what makes them light up, and recognizing the things that make them outwardly groan, led me here:

• showers/baths
• walks
• black coffee
• grocery shopping
• socks as a gift
• early bedtime
• taking pictures
• working out
• “errands”
• reading a book
• leftovers
• long car rides
• having dinner made for you
• making your bed 
• cooking

Each of these are things that I once complained about endlessly and avoided doing as much as possible as a child. Fast forward to now, having enough undisturbed alone time to sit down and enjoy a good book is a luxury. Having dinner made for me, whether it’s by a friend, or perhaps by my mama when I go home to Alabama, makes me feel beyond grateful. Whereas making my bed was once a “time-consuming” hassle, it’s now a tiny piece of my day that makes me feel at least 1% put together before taking on whatever lies in the hours ahead. 

Never again will you find me complaining about the bitter taste of black coffee or the inconvenience of taking a shower… I’m not sure how I would make it through the day without either and still feel like a human being. 

I wish I could vividly remember the day that each of these things evolved into glorified parts of my day. I know that the shift came in a flash and serves as a reminder that we have no time to waste on this earth considering just how quickly and drastically our perspectives are capable of shifting. Through a child’s eyes, someone is always trying to get you to do something unnecessary that you have no desire to do. Through our eyes, it’s crystal clear why our parents insisted on us building habits we would one day be so grateful for.

Now, on the note of the kids I babysit stirring all of these things up in my mind, I also find it significant to share the list I composed of things that make me feel like maybe we aren’t quite as grown up as we think we are at times. By this, I mean that perhaps we retain more childlike, pure habits than we tend to initially assume. When observing each of the three kiddos that I babysit interact with each other and the world around them, I naturally feel myself relating more than I would expect. This has led me to curate the list below over time. In my opinion, these things don’t seem to change in terms of who we are or how we value them: 

• having a sweet tooth 
• gentle reminders
• a good movie
• going swimming/pool/beach
• human curiosity
• comfort blankets
• bowling
• floor time
• finger foods
• “playing” outside
• loving animals/pets
• hating cleaning
• swings
• game night
• spending time with those we love

I feel as though that list is pretty self-explanatory.

At the end of the day, we were created in a way that allows us to evolve, to grow, to change, to flourish, yet hold true to the root of the hearts and means that shaped us.

I’m currently experiencing my last couple weeks of undergrad psychology classes, and this semester’s developmental psych course has struck me in many profound ways. Just last week, we discussed the shift from early childhood into adolescence regarding how we cope with and respond to our emotions. This onset of social awareness makes us hyper-aware as young adults of how we handle and emotionally react to stimuli in our daily lives.

As kids, we stared at strangers. Oftentimes, it was from behind the comfort of a parent’s leg, but regardless- we stared. We observed and made judgments and mulled over every feature and sometimes even struck up a conversation. We did this because we were oh so curious, unafraid of social expectations, and unassuming of what could come from such eye contact. As adults, we too often make it a mission to avoid eye contact, even though we live in a world that so desperately seeks connection.

When did we decide that not being open to a random connection on a Tuesday and avoiding eye contact because we “have somewhere to be” should be the societal norm when our once-naive selves were capable of avoiding such groupthink?

I won’t claim to be someone who doesn’t ever avoid eye contact. I certainly have my share of days where I do just the things that oppose how I wish we operated in this little world. I just think it might be worthwhile to mention these thoughts and observations of mine. If I can encourage someone to tap back into the fearlessness and openness embedded into kids’ mental framework (to an extent), then maybe I’ve done my good deed of the day.

I really do like to think we are all just big kids at heart. In fact, just yesterday, a friend and I were discussing when the evolutions from girl to woman and boy to man actually occur. We assessed this idea specifically from the angle of both being 22-year-olds and still feeling finicky about referring to our friends and age group as a whole as men and women. My point? We’re all just figuring out this growing up thing as we go.

Perhaps we could appreciate those things we once so strongly disliked as kids and value now a little more, and be grateful for that list of happies that doesn’t ever truly seem to waver.

Sincerely,

SB